Mariska Hargitay on facing grief and her past

For over two decades, Mariska Hargitay has been known to audiences worldwide for her role as Detective Olivia Benson in *Law & Order: Special Victims Unit*. This strong, resilient character—who constantly fights for justice—has become a symbol of empathy and fortitude. However, behind this public persona lies a deeply painful personal journey—one that took the actress decades to find the courage to confront.

The year 2025 marks a pivotal turning point in Hargitay’s life with the release of the documentary *My Mom Jayne*—a film she personally directed and produced. The film not only chronicles the life of her famous mother, Jayne Mansfield, but also serves as a journey of self-discovery, a process of healing deep-seated wounds, and a confrontation with family secrets that had remained buried for decades.

At just three years old, Hargitay survived a catastrophic car accident in 1967 that claimed her mother’s life when she was only 34. Memories of her mother were virtually nonexistent in her mind; all that remained were voids, fragmented stories, and a sense of loss that lingered throughout her childhood. In several recent interviews, the actress has admitted to always feeling a “hole in her heart” because she never truly had the chance to know who her mother was.

For many years, Hargitay avoided delving deeply into her family’s past. Jayne Mansfield’s fame—and her public image as a Hollywood “sex symbol”—left her feeling both proud and conflicted. While the public knew Mansfield as a sex icon of the 1950s, her daughter believed that, beneath that image, lay a woman who was far more intelligent, ambitious, and complex. It was this very desire to uncover her mother’s true self that compelled Hargitay to create what is arguably the most personal documentary of her career. The process of making the film became an emotional excavation of memories. Hargitay reopened old boxes of documents, sifting through thousands of previously unreleased photographs, film clips, and letters. She met with relatives and her mother’s old friends, listening to stories that no one had ever told before. What moved her most deeply was hearing Jayne Mansfield’s everyday speaking voice for the very first time—a voice far removed from the public persona she had cultivated. That moment, according to Hargitay, felt like the first time she truly met her mother.

However, the film went beyond merely recreating the image of her late mother. While delving into the past, Hargitay decided to reveal a family secret she had kept hidden for over 30 years: the man who raised her—Mickey Hargitay—was not her biological father. Her actual biological father was Nelson Sardelli, a performer who had been romantically involved with Jayne Mansfield during her separation from Mickey Hargitay.

This discovery had once left Hargitay reeling. She described the sensation of learning the truth as feeling as though “the ground had collapsed beneath her feet.” For years, she grappled with questions regarding her own identity and origins. Yet, rather than allowing the secret to continue creating a rift, Hargitay chose to confront it openly. The film became the platform through which she could tell her story on her own terms—before anyone else could tell it for her.

Remarkably, this journey of confronting the past did not lead to division; on the contrary, it brought about reconciliation. The bond between Hargitay and Nelson Sardelli grew increasingly close. The actress shared that the father and daughter are now very close, and that there are no longer any unspoken words between them. After years of carrying unanswered questions, she has finally found peace within her own family story. These experiences also helped Hargitay re-evaluate her mother’s image from an entirely different perspective. Instead of seeing merely a Hollywood icon pigeonholed by her glamorous exterior, she began to recognize Jayne Mansfield’s courage, intellect, and resilience. Hargitay once shared that, after completing the film, she felt more connected to her mother than ever before. She was no longer a distant legend or an unhealed wound, but became a vibrant, living part of her life.

This transformation profoundly impacted the actress’s life in the present day. After finishing *My Mom Jayne*, Hargitay remarked that she felt like a different person. The voids within her soul seemed to have been partially filled, helping her find a sense of balance and serenity after years of avoiding painful memories.

Perhaps that is why, when she stepped onto the Broadway stage at the age of 62 in the play *Every Brilliant Thing*, Hargitay brought with her a completely new energy. The production revolves around themes such as loss, depression, and the beautiful things that make life worth living—precisely the themes intertwined with her own journey of healing. Hargitay admitted that the stage demands a level of vulnerability and authenticity unlike anything she had ever experienced in television.

Looking back on the path she has traveled, Mariska Hargitay’s story is not merely the journey of a Hollywood star confronting her past. It is also a universal tale about memory, family, and the human need to seek the truth. After years of living…